I'm doing ridiculously well! But I'm still unsure whether I want to get radiation.

Proton beam is much better for me than photon. Two institutions in the US offer proton therapy... one of which is about 30 minutes from CMC! I'm going back to school! Even if I only take 3 classes this semester, I will only be a half-credit behind. Even though I dropped a semester, I'm still a half credit ahead (one class = 1 credit). I doubt I'll have to drop any classes for radiation... I spent four years of my life in excrutiating pain... I still earned awesome grades and did everything that I loved. In the last two months, I wasn't able to walk, but I was earning nearly all As (it's a shame that I had to drop that awesome GPA potential).

I found out today that my school's history dept. has selected me (with 3 other students) for an all expense paid spring break trip to India. I've been to India three times, but I'd like to challenge my family-visit comfort zone and explore the country from a more outgoing perspective. This will be such an amazing experience, and I feel so fortunate to have been selected. Now, I have to get strong and hope this tumor grows back after march. I actually considered withdrawing my application from the program. Then I realized that I cannot live in paranoia and fear. I have to challenge myself, take risks, and put myself out there. I cannot fear a congregation of microscopic cells. Sure, they are part of me (and attached to my nerves), but I am bigger than them. Even when the tumor was 8 inches, I was still bigger and stronger. This experience will never hold me back. I just gotta do my thing (thang).

As far as my recovery...

I've had about 3 physical therapy sessions... and each one gets better. I'm gaining some flexibility (and very little strength). After PT this morning, I walked up a flight of stairs! I was so excited that I could do that-- I didn't think I would. In the months before my diagnosis, I would drag myself up stairs. I lived on the second floor of my dorm, and I found it so painful to get up stairs. I was so excited this morning-- I didn't even hold on to the hand rail! I'm not religious, but I feel like I've lived through a miracle. I've recovered so much, so fast, in such a short amount of time... Before my surgery, I wasn't able to run-- I couldn't get my legs off the ground. Maybe once I've done some more PT, I'll be able to run again... and bike.

so... who wants to go hiking this Summer? I went hiking/running all the time this past summer. It's ridiculous that I was able to do that... considering how much pain I was in.